Closure is an important part of any gathering, ritual, ceremony, cycle or school year. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting with four classrooms that have only been using the Peacekeeper model in their classrooms since March. These were a kindergarten, two fifth grades and a first grade class.
Usually classes begin using the Peacekeeper process in their classes right off the bat when school begins in the fall, which sets a norm for the classroom. Once patterns are set with groups of kids they can be difficult break however, all of these classes showed that with focused attention and willingness they were able to embrace this new peacekeeping tool and find great comfort and satisfaction using the "I message" communication skills, even in this short time period, So close to the end of the school year.
I visited the kindergarten first and usually this class has a difficult time sitting and behaving. It's a new concept for a 5 year old to keep their little bodies still sitting in the (chris-cross applesauce position) with hands in their laps (spoons in the bowl), for any length of time. So each week we repeat the discussion about how we sit in circle and listen to our friends. We also repeat how to behave respectfully with their classmates and then repeat the agreements that they have learned. Because they are such quick learners, even in this short period of time, they easily volunteer out loud, one of the guidelines they were taught on the first day of Peacekeeper. They have memorized these agreements so they can begin each week reaffirming that this is a safe place to talk with their classmates and resolve conflict or show appreciation. One of the most important agreements is "what gets said in circle, stays in circle". They learn what the word confidentiality means and what it means to gossip or break that agreement. Yes, even 5 year olds are capable of understanding and abiding in this agreement.
In just two months of once a week circles, this particular class has gone from chaos and disrespect to order and cooperation(for the most part). The teacher has really noticed and commented on the difference it has made especially during circle time. I noticed that I left with a feeling that even these little people with such a short life experience behind them, also want what most of us want, "to be heard and have an opportunity to speak, so they can feel appreciated and valued and work out differences so they can experience friendships that are built on caring and trust.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Miss Kiri, the Peace Circle Lady
Entering a kindergarten classroom where twenty, 5 year olds greet me with smiles, hugs and excitement makes driving across town for half an hour absolutely meaningful and my job feel more like playtime than a vocation. I am the “Peace Circle Lady” to some and “Miss Kiri” to others. I teach a skill that the children cannot necessarily name in words but are well aware that it makes them “feel good”. I am thrilled to represent “feel good”, it keeps me excited about returning to the circles to listen to the children speak from their hearts to their classmates about how they are treating and being treated by one another and how their relationships feel. Expressing how one feels and what one needs is an amazing experience to hear from a kindergartener and becomes a necessary tool as they mature into the higher grades.
It is a well known fact, that when one feel listened to, even if what is said or heard is something that is difficult, it elicits a “feel good” internal response. When people are in a “resourced” or comfortable place, which I also call a “peaceful place” their ability to respond to their environment with compassion and acceptance, no matter what happens, is more likely to be positive with a increased willingness to cooperate.
When students in higher elementary grades have the opportunity weekly to speak to their peers in this safe environment about what occurs between them and say it respectfully they tend to feel more comfort in belonging in school. Teachers witness better performance with greater care for their work and attentiveness in the classroom.
Another well known and very unfortunate fact, is the epidemic of bullying occurrences in the schools. This preventative restorative justice practice (peacekeeper circles) is one way to get the persons in conflict to speak to one another, eye to eye and heart to heart, where they speak and listen to what each other’s perspective is, on the situation, and can quickly heal the harm with sincere apology being witnessed in a respectful manner by their classroom community.
Here are a few of quotes from a 4th grader about the peace keeper experience: (**notice the compassionate nature this person expressed**) Then enjoy the Buddhist quote following this wise 10 year old.
“I like peace circle because, I get to talk out my problems”
“I learned that when I am positive it affects others and makes them happy too”
“Peace circle helped me by letting me feel comfortable with my surroundings and made me feel like no one will “tell on” people and make a fight.”
(** the thought here is exprssing that they have the opportunity to listen to other’s grievances and it’s not the old way of tattling on each other, they are respectfully listening and taking in what is said.**)
“When I listen to my classmates talk about how they feel I get sad and if they have a grievance, against them I will feel sorry for them.”
“When I hurt someone’s feelings I now know that I have to say I am sorry,
and MEAN it. (I am very sorry in my heart)”
“When I think of our peace circles in our class I know I will remember not to argue if someone gives me a grievance. I will apologize and say I am sorry by my heart”
A Buddhist quote:
Love and compassion make us feel safe because they express the safety of their source—the deep Buddha nature within us, the unchanging inner space of primal awareness that cannot be harmed…
It is a well known fact, that when one feel listened to, even if what is said or heard is something that is difficult, it elicits a “feel good” internal response. When people are in a “resourced” or comfortable place, which I also call a “peaceful place” their ability to respond to their environment with compassion and acceptance, no matter what happens, is more likely to be positive with a increased willingness to cooperate.
When students in higher elementary grades have the opportunity weekly to speak to their peers in this safe environment about what occurs between them and say it respectfully they tend to feel more comfort in belonging in school. Teachers witness better performance with greater care for their work and attentiveness in the classroom.
Another well known and very unfortunate fact, is the epidemic of bullying occurrences in the schools. This preventative restorative justice practice (peacekeeper circles) is one way to get the persons in conflict to speak to one another, eye to eye and heart to heart, where they speak and listen to what each other’s perspective is, on the situation, and can quickly heal the harm with sincere apology being witnessed in a respectful manner by their classroom community.
Here are a few of quotes from a 4th grader about the peace keeper experience: (**notice the compassionate nature this person expressed**) Then enjoy the Buddhist quote following this wise 10 year old.
“I like peace circle because, I get to talk out my problems”
“I learned that when I am positive it affects others and makes them happy too”
“Peace circle helped me by letting me feel comfortable with my surroundings and made me feel like no one will “tell on” people and make a fight.”
(** the thought here is exprssing that they have the opportunity to listen to other’s grievances and it’s not the old way of tattling on each other, they are respectfully listening and taking in what is said.**)
“When I listen to my classmates talk about how they feel I get sad and if they have a grievance, against them I will feel sorry for them.”
“When I hurt someone’s feelings I now know that I have to say I am sorry,
and MEAN it. (I am very sorry in my heart)”
“When I think of our peace circles in our class I know I will remember not to argue if someone gives me a grievance. I will apologize and say I am sorry by my heart”
A Buddhist quote:
Love and compassion make us feel safe because they express the safety of their source—the deep Buddha nature within us, the unchanging inner space of primal awareness that cannot be harmed…
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Welcome to Peacekeeper blog
This is the first post for our new blog site.
We are so excited to create a web presence to share our passion, PeaceKeeper Circles.
My name is Kiri Saftler, over the past few years, I've had the pleasure of teaching this preventative restorative justice process in Colorado to over 30 teachers and/or counselors and approximately 600 students in elementary school classrooms in Fort Collins and Denver.
With the established agreements and guidelines used in Peacekeeper Circles students sitting in circle listen from their hearts to one another, in a safe environment. They learn how their behavior effects each other by expressing their gratitude/appreciation and grievances. The children even in kindergarten learn to express authentically, using "I messages". With sincere apologies students can make amends for their wrong doing, learn how to correct their behavior and re-establish healthy relationships.
A sad fact is that bullying, has become an epidemic in our culture. If children can learn to reconcile their differences with a restorative rather than punitive method, problems can be resolved between the offender and victim in a humanitarian way. The ancestors of many native cultures promoted this type of interaction because they experienced it's long lasting effectiveness.
I have personally witnessed amazing interactions between young people that many adults never experience in their lives, because they've learned to express their feelings and needs. With the use of this weekly classroom practice learning positive resolution skills, the children build long lasting relationships that are based on listening to their peers with cooperation and compassion.
Our intention at this time, is to apply for grants to increase the possibility for more students to learn this life long skill of positive communication and deep listening. With funding and a commitment of teachers and administrators children will learn how to listen and respond more compassionately to their peers and communicate their feelings and needs, which encourages a climate of caring and compassion in an entire school setting. We would like to offer an opportunity to at least one pilot school where every classroom is committed to sharing Peacekeeper Circles. We want to study and observe the results of it's effectiveness on bullying and how when student's emotional needs are being met, it creates a positive learning environment for all. Ideally this would be observable over the course of one year and optimally with reinfocement over the five years in elementary school, the children would have a core value of compassion instilled. This life skill is also a positive model of conflict resolution, easily accessible and used as a foundation for improving relationships in classroom and beyond.
We believe there are many positive effects that Peacekeeper Circles can offer students and staff, school wide. Having a whole school participate in this model and evaluating the effects will encourage others to use the peacekeeper program in their schools.
We are so excited to create a web presence to share our passion, PeaceKeeper Circles.
My name is Kiri Saftler, over the past few years, I've had the pleasure of teaching this preventative restorative justice process in Colorado to over 30 teachers and/or counselors and approximately 600 students in elementary school classrooms in Fort Collins and Denver.
With the established agreements and guidelines used in Peacekeeper Circles students sitting in circle listen from their hearts to one another, in a safe environment. They learn how their behavior effects each other by expressing their gratitude/appreciation and grievances. The children even in kindergarten learn to express authentically, using "I messages". With sincere apologies students can make amends for their wrong doing, learn how to correct their behavior and re-establish healthy relationships.
A sad fact is that bullying, has become an epidemic in our culture. If children can learn to reconcile their differences with a restorative rather than punitive method, problems can be resolved between the offender and victim in a humanitarian way. The ancestors of many native cultures promoted this type of interaction because they experienced it's long lasting effectiveness.
I have personally witnessed amazing interactions between young people that many adults never experience in their lives, because they've learned to express their feelings and needs. With the use of this weekly classroom practice learning positive resolution skills, the children build long lasting relationships that are based on listening to their peers with cooperation and compassion.
Our intention at this time, is to apply for grants to increase the possibility for more students to learn this life long skill of positive communication and deep listening. With funding and a commitment of teachers and administrators children will learn how to listen and respond more compassionately to their peers and communicate their feelings and needs, which encourages a climate of caring and compassion in an entire school setting. We would like to offer an opportunity to at least one pilot school where every classroom is committed to sharing Peacekeeper Circles. We want to study and observe the results of it's effectiveness on bullying and how when student's emotional needs are being met, it creates a positive learning environment for all. Ideally this would be observable over the course of one year and optimally with reinfocement over the five years in elementary school, the children would have a core value of compassion instilled. This life skill is also a positive model of conflict resolution, easily accessible and used as a foundation for improving relationships in classroom and beyond.
We believe there are many positive effects that Peacekeeper Circles can offer students and staff, school wide. Having a whole school participate in this model and evaluating the effects will encourage others to use the peacekeeper program in their schools.
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